Is now a good time?

As a writer I am always looking for new topics to write about. I need something that invites you to come back again and again. My dear friend Jacqui recently sent me a video on timing. She suggested it could possibly be inspiration for my next blog post.

 – Cheers to you Jacqui – my following words are because of you –

I have been writing this blog for quite some time now. For about three and a half years, I have been sharing my words with you. I have written down my thoughts and laid down my heart like playing cards within the confines of this space. With each piece I write, I always want there to be resolution. I purposely write with resolution. I want there to be a tangible takeaway for my readers.

Today I am going to write about timing. Timing is a funny thing. It is not the hilarious class clown kind of funny. It is the mysterious odd kind of funny.

It is this peculiar thing that I cannot write about with resolution. It is an unknown the universe uses to keep us on our toes. Granted there are some things about time that are concrete. There are 7 days in a week, and 24 hours in a day, and 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute. Recipes tell us how much time to cook something. Dentists tell us how long to brush our teeth. Maps tell us the distance to our destinations.

One thing you will quickly learn about me is that I inherently believe there is purpose behind each person I meet. I believe they have been placed in my life for a reason. I don’t think it is by chance. The unknown of this is, why did I meet them when I did? In that specific time in my life, why was it necessary they walked in? These are the questions we ask as a result of the unknowns of timing.

What are your thoughts on timing?

Do you believe it is magical?

Do you hate it’s guts?

There is the age old tale of meeting the right person at the wrong time. Time and time again I have convinced myself of it’s truth. In the past year, I met a boy. When I say I met a boy, I mean I met a boy unlike any boy I’d ever met before. He took my world and turned it upside down. I broke my rules for this boy. I did anything and everything to even just catch a glimpse of him. This was new to me. No boy had ever paid this much attention to me. No boy had ever meshed with me so well. Never once in my life had this been a reality. I quickly thought to myself – “This is why nothing had ever worked out with anyone else before.” The timing of living at home and working a new job led me to this boy. Time was on my side for a chance. That was the moment in my life where I finally felt like it was my turn. All of the “I’ll meet the right person when I’m supposed to.” thoughts were coming true. As quickly as it came together – it fell apart even quicker. Timing betrayed me. It dangled in front of me exactly what I wanted just to snatch it away. Like a claw machine fishing for a toy, it slipped through my fingers. Unlike one of those machines I cannot insert another quarter and play again until I win.

Months have passed since then and I am still battling time. After tears and laughs and reflection I have concluded that – he is not meant to be in my life right now. The boy he is right now, is not the boy who God wants me to know. Here is where – sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time – comes into play. When he is meant to be a constant in my life (if ever) he will be. This logic applies to all relationships – romantic or otherwise.


With every good argument comes a counter argument… Sometimes, the “so called” wrong time is all we get.

We have to ask ourselves – is timing something you make the best of?

Many say people will make time for you if they want to. If you are important to them, they make that evidently clear. Think about it – think of the most important people in your life. I have confidence in saying they’re aware they are important to you and you do whatever it takes to keep them around. This is a two way street my friend. People saying nothing is just as powerful as them saying everything. If they don’t make it clear you’re important to them – heartbreakingly – you just might not be. That is a tough reality to swallow. This is where my mind jumps to the boy and thinks – “If he wanted me in his life he would tell me.” Again, this logic applies to all relationships – romantic or otherwise.

Do you see the conundrum timing has given us?

Think of all the people we meet in passing. Think of the travelers we meet in airports and sit next to on airplanes. Maybe that five minutes with them is all we will ever get. Maybe they will be around for years to come. Instant answers to these questions do not exist. Ironically the only thing that will give us answers is time.

I think Jacqui put it best – “I always liked to believe if it’s the wrong time, it’s the wrong guy. And if it is in fact your person, he’ll circle back. The true circle of life, a winding effin maze.”

We also have to face that facts that we may never get answers. I cannot back up timing with an abundance of answers. I cannot define reasons why we meet those we do. Do I believe there is purpose in timing? – Yes I do. Do I ever lose faith in it? – All the time.

I told you I would not be able to end this post with resolution.

I can only have faith that time knows what it is doing.


Oh Valentine’s Day 

Valentine’s Day, yep it is that time of year again. You either love it or you hate it. Take my Uncle for example, he was born on Valentine’s Day, it is safe to assume he likes it. I on the other hand, I am not overly enthused with it. Let me tell you, I love to celebrate things. When I say celebrate things I mean nearly everything. I got the tight lid off the peanut butter jar, I am going do a little dance. I successfully organized my agenda or finished a new book. More dancing. So yeah, of course, I love holidays. This holiday has yet to prove to me I need it in my life. I don’t highlight February 14th in my agenda with my cute pink highlighter. I’d prefer to black it out with a super permanent sharpie. Heck I’d be ok with skipping the whole month of February in general.

I am about to sound like a bitter single girl. I am also about to go all girl power/independent woman on you. I have always wanted to write about Valentine’s Day. The words that follow are my thoughts and feelings I feel compelled to share at this moment. I want someone else to know I am in their corner fighting along with them. I want to connect with at least one reader about this so called “holiday.” All my single ladies this is for you.

To all my bitter single girls: We don’t have to like Valentine’s Day. It is cool if you want to paint your nails black instead of pink. We all don’t have a cute beau to spend this day with. No one is sending us flowers. No one is showering us with chocolates.

Instead I am over here writing about being single. A solid 24 years of being nothing but single. Yeah I know, it has it’s pros and cons. Well say hello to freaking con numero uno – freaking Valentine’s Day. A yearly reminder of being in a relationship or being single. My preferred name for it, singles awareness day.

So here we are, all my single ladies get in formation. Yes, I just used a Beyoncé reference and I don’t even like Beyoncé. See what this holiday does to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know – suck it up, it is only one day a year. I know I am bitter but whatever. I don’t have to like it. Here are a few reasons why.

For the past 24 years of my life, I have been valentine-less. No cute boy over here sending me flowers. No delicious box of chocolates from a secret admirer. Heck no cute boy at all. (Okay, once in 8th grade an anonymous source sent me a red teddy bear. If you’re reading this, I never did find out who you were.) To be fair, here is where I need to give my dad some credit. He does get me half a dozen pink roses every year. He even had them sent to my dorm room when I was in college. He makes sure they find their way to me, no matter my location. Yeah, I know, he rocks. I am not here to write about my dad though. Also to clarify, I used to post pictures of those flowers on social media. I wanted people to see the flowers. Yet, I never said they were from my dad. Part of me wanted all my social media peeps to be left in the dark. I wanted it to be a mystery of who sent me those roses. I didn’t want to admit that for another year I was Valentine-less.

Why? I don’t know. I don’t know if even I can answer that fully. Did I find it embarrassing that the only person who ever sent me flowers was my dad? Maybe. Did I just want people to sense an aire of mystery? Did I want them to wonder who could have possibly sent me those? To this day I am unsure of my intentions. Maybe I was just bitter that my life was not fitting into the social norm of Valentine’s Day. I was not hopelessly in love with the perfect boy with the perfect hair, the perfect eyes, and the even more perfect personality.

February 14th of every year, I tell my self – ” HEY, you DON’T need no man.” I know that stands true. The only person that controls my happiness is myself. I am fully aware a healthy relationship stems from two people truly content with themselves coming together. When my feet are planted where they are meant to be in life, God will place the right person in my life or shine a spotlight on one that has been here all along. If you regularly read my blog, you know my take on a boyfriend vs. a witness to my life. I know there is nothing wrong with wanting a man in my life. I simultaneously know that is not what defines me.

At a fairly young age I gained an abundance of self confidence. I accepted myself for who I was and understood the best people in my life stuck around to know the genuine me. My genuine self has evolved throughout the years. My likes and dislikes have changed. I have grown into the 24 year old woman I am today. Life was not always unicorns and rainbows. I definitely faced some struggles along the way. For as confident as I am, one little thing, one little voice in my head, always seems to counteract a percentage of that confidence. When all of my friends in high school were asked by boys to prom, the person buying my wrist corsage was my mom. There was no football player asking me to wear his jersey on game day. The first time I was asked to a dance by a boy, I was a junior in high school. I felt so late to the game. I somehow managed to hold onto some sliver of hope. I rationalized why no one asked me and why I hadn’t had a first date. I managed to accept what I had and what I did not. I can’t admit that it didn’t hurt. I can’t admit I didn’t wonder what was so wrong with me that boys didn’t pay attention to me. Then came college, I thought to myself, this is a fresh start. An opportunity to keep consistent what I wanted to and change what didn’t feel right. That became a reality for some things, but not for others. After four years of college, still no valentine in sight. I am now writing this nearly three years after graduation. You guessed right, still no Valentine.

Each year, as February comes and goes, I can’t help but think, well there is always next year. A lot can happen in a years time. Next year my circumstances will be different. Next year, I will want to celebrate Valentine’s day. Here I am in February of 2018 with Valentine’s Day a few slashes away on a calendar. I didn’t write everything prior to this to suddenly yell ‘surprise’ this year I have a valentine. I clearly do not. Nor do I predict one popping up within the next few days. I like to be realistic.

The more I write, the more I realize I think I need to share this next thought the most. There is a reason I am yet to have a valentine. To put it honestly, there is a reason I have never had a boyfriend. I don’t know it, but God does. – At 24 that is not something I enjoy openly admitting to. However, a goal of this post is to be open, raw, and honest. It is hard not to feel embarrassed when admitting it. Part of the reason I need to share it is so that others in the same boat do not feel alone. Feeling alone sucks. I thrive on being independent but not on being lonely. There is a difference between them. Being independent means you are comfortable with taking life head on as yourself. When I started writing this, I said people either love or hate this holiday. I think those who hate it, feel alone. I have been there. While other aspects of my life are filled to the brim – other things seem to have the gas tank empty light permanently lit. I feel like there is this invisible wall surrounding my love life that is impossible to scale. Maybe it is a maze I can’t get out of and others can’t get in. Sometimes I even feel like there is a flashing neon sign above my head that says “undatable.”

Whatever it is, I cannot figure it out. It would be silly to say that is not frustrating. I love challenges, but I love the ones I can solve the most. This seems to be unsolvable. I do not enjoy it. No one likes stuff they don’t enjoy. The only thing that pushes me forward is hope. Knowing with hope nothing stays the same. Circumstances are bound to change. One day I will look forward to Valentine’s Day because it will resemble a different meaning in my life. Right now I cannot finish this post with a resolution. I cannot just straight up resolve this for myself and others with the snap of my fingers. I can however, make sure I never lose hope of wanting to celebrate Valentines Day in the future. Like I said before, celebrations are kind of my thing.

Until then, I will continue to retweet single girl memes on Twitter. I will continue to buy myself all the chocolate and flowers I want. But, right now I think Valentine’s Day sucks. (Here’s where I’m a bitter single girl) I’m telling you it is okay if you do too.

You Should Always Be Your Own Favorite Person

One of my typical nightly bedtime activities is scrolling aimlessly through twitter. It usually gives a good laugh and is mindless just enough to put me to sleep. I recently read a tweet that said, “Talk about yourself the way you want others to talk about you!! Don’t put yourself down to be self deprecating, you should be your own fave person.”

This girl hit the nail on the head.


The person you should love most is yourself. You cannot fully appreciate others until you appreciate yourself. Lately my writing has been overcome with a tone of heartbreak, letting go, and healing. That is not the core of my being. I didn’t experience that heartbreak because I don’t love myself. I love myself enough to want to share that with another person.

We all deserve the love we so freely give to others. It is so important to remember that I am enough. You are enough. We are all enough.

There is never a poor time to let someone know they matter and who they are is the best thing they can be.

Be good to people for no reason. It costs us nothing to to be kind to others. At the same time, make sure to transfer that kindness to yourself because it costs even less to be kind to yourself.

One of my absolute favorite sayings is “I think it’s intoxicating when someone is apologetically who they are.” I could not have said this better myself. If I want to know you, I want to know the absolute real you. Give me the early mornings pre-coffee and late night phone calls, but also give me everything in between. Tell me the story of how when you’re pitching a baseball game all you can hear from the stands is your mom mumbling under her breath, “Why can’t he throw straight?” Fill my heart with your family’s holiday traditions. I want to know about your day, everything that makes you you. Don’t show me the person Instagram sees. Show me the person your bathroom mirror sees. I am not asking for a filtered version of you. I want the raw uncensored you. Being true to yourself never goes out of style. Who you are is the best thing you can ever be. To show me this person wholeheartedly, you have to love your absolute self.

On top of that, putting yourself down to be self deprecating is not the cool thing to do. Speaking about yourself in such a manner is giving others permission to do so too. You should never give others a reason to treat you that way. Self respect demands respect from others. Loving yourself, self-care, and self-preservation are three of life’s best practices. Make them a constant in your life. Be an example to others that taking care of yourself  is a priority and is fun.

I remember when I hit the age that I no longer thought boys had cooties. All I wanted was the right kind of attention from them. I wanted to be noticed by the cute boys in school. What young girl didn’t? I never got the attention I wanted. I didn’t get asked out on dates. Boys were not lining up to ask me to prom. There wasn’t someone for me to slow dance with. I could have taken this lack of attention in two ways. I could let it defeat me or I could use the opportunity to love myself. I took what I wasn’t getting and channeled my attention into being an independent young woman. I learned that loving myself was the best thing I could do. I learned that if someone didn’t want me for me they weren’t worthy of my time. It was either do this or crumble into a defenseless little girl that defined herself through how others treated her. I told myself, “Gabriella you are never going to be that girl.” I refuse to be that girl to this day. I started in this world with just me and that’s is how I will end in this world.

I learned that being my own favorite person was the best thing I can do for myself. My hope is that you realize this as well. I want you to be your favorite person. I want you to take care of yourself. I don’t want you to live a life of comparison. Promise me you won’t. Your worth is not given to you by others. It is a gift you give yourself. If you want to have healthy relationships you have to love yourself first. Learn to share that authentic person with those that will appreciate everything you are. There is only one you in this world and that if the most beautiful thing about you.

You should always be your own favorite person.

2017 Wrapped

As we transition into a new year, it’s easy to illustrate our past year in numbers. It’s easy to calculate our expectations for the upcoming 365 days. I will be the first to tell you, new years resolutions are a bit cliche in my book. It doesn’t take the beginning of a new calendar year to cultivate a change in your life. Change can be created as soon as you choose to do so. That’s not to say, I don’t enjoy reflecting back on what the past year has given me.

Here are some highlights of my 2017 via social media. The notes and lyrics that traveled through my headphones. My written words that were read most by all of you. If you follow me on Instagram, thanks for the double taps.


I listen to A LOT of music! Music has been and will always be a passion of mine. The fact that 2017 brought us new Ed Sheeran and new Taylor Swift albums makes my heart oh so happy. I discovered Kelsea Ballerini in the summer of 2015. Ever since then she has been the artist that broke me into the genre of county music. We were also graced with a new album from her this year. I recommend giving her song “Get Over Yourself” a good listen. Flor happen to be friends of mine that released their first full length album this year. Shameless plug, go check them out RIGHT NOW. Needless to say my ears were very happy this year.

My most read blog post of 2017 was Ours Was Never Ours. I wish I could fully explain the immense amount of irony behind this. Let’s just say, the person this post is about gave me some of my most beautiful cherished memories of this past year. At the same time, he also gave me a dose of heartbreak I wish upon no one. He taught me so much about myself and others. I will always be proud of myself for the courage it took to share those words with all of you. If you read it, thank you. Thank you so very much. Many would say he doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in this post, I will politely disagree. Maybe that’s my blind optimism to blame. To the boy it’s about, I hope you’re living a life you love. You’ll always be in my heart and you’ll always live on in my words. Thanks for showing me a side of life I never knew until I met you.

Of course I couldn’t sum up 2017 without sharing my top liked Instagram photos. I am most definitely that girl that does it for the gram. (It’s my favorite form of social media) Yes, I am also that girl that abbreviates an obnoxious amount of words. I reached my most liked photo this year. My top nine Instagram photos illustrate some of my favorite things. img_0437Five of  them, are me in a swimsuit…. ok I’ll admit I have an addiction. The pool is most definitely my happy place. Two of them are from my vacation to Florida with my bestie. Of course one is at Disney World. Shout out to my girl Minnie Mouse. I celebrated 24 years this year. It was my golden birthday and that’s archived here. If you liked these or any other of my Insta pics, thanks for double tapping thinking my life is interesting or thinking I look good in a swimsuit. Here’s to hopes of breaking my likes record in 2018!

I mentioned above New Years resolutions really aren’t my thing. However, I am using the start of a new calendar year to make some lifestyle changes of my own. I am now the proud owner of a Lara Casey Cultivate What Matters goal planner. This thing is legit. It features power sheets and is full of authentic inspiration. It’s purpose is to help me cultivate meaningful goals for myself. Anything from drinking more water to managing my finances will be tackled. I cannot wait to dig in and become part of the community behind it. If this sounds like something right for you too, I encourage you check it out. Join this journey with me!

Hopefully 2018 will also bring me the start of law school. From approximately age 16, I have wanted to be a lawyer. In due time, through my own journey, I have finally reached my starting line. Many applications are on their way. That’s all for now on this subject, but I will keep you updated. Who knows this may lead me to a place I don’t know I need to be?

As I sit writing this, I’m sipping on an earl grey crema tea from my favorite local coffee shop. Over the past year, I have become what many would call a regular at Aegis. Part of my weekly routine is popping in to get my dose of caffeine and visit with the welcoming staff. I’d like to say the baristas at Aegis have become friends of mine. It’s so refreshing to walk into a business and always be greeted with an authentic smile. If I need a pick me up or a just a genuine conversation, I go to Aegis. I’ve always wanted to become a regular at a coffee shop. Now that I have, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Before this post gets away from me and I write a novels worth of words about 2017, I want to conclude with something for all of you. I want to leave you with a bit of unsolicited advice. Seven things I learned in 2017. Hopefully all of them or even just one will be beneficial to you.

  1. Express your true feelings: If you miss someone tell them. If you love someone tell them. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Unsaid words will haunt you. What’s the worst that could happen? You end up back where you started
  2. There isn’t an expiration date to your dreams: It’s never too late to chase your dreams. Chasing your dreams is one of the scariest things you’ll ever do. Sometimes that’s the part people don’t tell you about. Know that following your dreams in your own time is the best thing you can do. It’s never to late to say yes to step one towards your dreams.
  3. Do things that scare you: Say yes to dates. Change your hair color. Try a new yoga class. Without wanting to say, “step out of your comfort zone” do just that. When we tackle our fears we learn more about ourselves than we’d imagine. Do not let your fears be the compass of your decisions.
  4. Write handwritten notes: A personal touch goes a long way, for job interviews and for friends. If you interview for a new job, send them thank you note after the fact. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it and see the type of candidate you truly are. Also, send your friends just because notes. They’ll love getting it in the mail. Leave kind words on a coworkers desk. Post a sticky note on the fridge for your roommate. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing someone is thinking of you.
  5. Become a regular at a coffee shop: It means you planted roots. Your giving yourself a chance to blossom. Plus, it’s uplifting to walk into a place and feel loved. The baristas knowing your order is also a great perk.
  6. It’s ok to be a hopeless romantic: Don’t settle bc people tell you serendipitous moments aren’t real life. If you want to keep your heart on your sleeve do it. It makes you brave.
  7. No matter the distance true friends will always remain. Many of my best friends live hours and miles away from me. As the saying goes, “apart in distance, but never in heart.” In ways this can make your friendships stronger. People who want to be active in your life we remain so, distance will only be a number to them. Plus, when you finally get to see each other it makes it that much better.

Just like 2017, this blog post is coming to a close. I hope as you look forward to our year ahead you won’t let you mind stop wandering through all life’s possibilities.

Cheers to you! Cheers to 2018!



Almost Relationships

Ahh, the return of Taylor Swift. Or as I like to refer to her, the girl who’s music is my bible. Three years dedicated fans, myself included, have anxiously awaited her return. Fair warning: No, this is not a review of her album. Fan or not I encourage you to please keep reading.

Upon the release a her new album my headphones have become well acquainted with every note. Lyrics jump out at me from every song. I tweet them. I write them in journals. I dubbed track number 12 my favorite. I became part of a group message about all things reputation. My world is saturated with all things Taylor Swift. Collectively my friends and I have ranked track number 5 “Delicate” into our top five songs on the album.

My long time friend Emi defined the song as, “She took every feeling you have when you’re like ‘oh we’re not together we’re just talking.’” At that moment I knew there was a reason I connected with this song on such an extreme level.

“We can’t make

any promises now, can we, babe?

But you can make me a drink.

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it chill that you’re in my head?

‘Cause I know that it’s delicate

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it too soon to do this yet?

‘Cause I know that it’s delicate”

My friend Kelsey and I recently had a conversation about just this. I passed on to her what my dear friend Emi said. It describes the “oh we’re not together we’re just talking” phase of relationships perfectly. That is important enough to be said twice. It is the feeling of “Is it too soon to say that? Is is too soon to take a chance? Am I coming on too strong by saying that?” If this doesn’t describe millennial dating culture, I don’t know what does.

We find ourselves in almost relationships. Somehow, someway, this is a situation I have managed to find myself in on previous occasions. Where taking a leap of faith is undoubtedly scarier than defining the relationship. Giving a person a title surrenders at the heels of facing rejection. You have seen the inside of his bedroom a few too many times to call him just a friend. Yet, when he bails on you to hang out with his friends you have no grounds to get mad because you are not his girlfriend. You attend all of his baseball games because you want to but not because he asked you to. He gives you his sweatshirt to keep warm but you don’t wear it in public. He becomes the first person you want to tell good and bad news to but don’t because you fear being too clingy. He kisses you in public and introduces you to his friends. They begin to tell you how great you are for him. Instead of asking him, you constantly ask yourself, “What does he want out of this?”. Asking him would give you an answer. It might not be the answer you want, so you resist asking and continue living in the unknown.

One of my favorite authors Hannah Brencher says, “Don’t let fear drive the car.” We allow ourselves to reside in the unknown because we are too afraid to be vulnerable. Vulnerability has been given an unfair identity of uncoolness. I believe being vulnerable means you are giving life the fighting chance it deserves. The chance for it to show you the many wonders you are yet to experience. It’s pressing send on text messages, buying the dress, trying a new workout class, it is stepping into your complete unknown.

With the aforementioned boy, I was ok with slow. Mostly because if we went any faster I was afraid I would fall too hard. I was wrong. Oh so wrong. I fell hard and fast at slow. I don’t know if anything could have changed that. I liked this boy so much that I was too afraid to tell him my feelings. I thought if I did I would lose him. I was given two opportunities to tell him the truth. The thought of losing him was detrimental to me. The irony is, I never told him but I still lost him. Now I have found myself consumed by words I have never said to him. My refusal to be vulnerable was me not fighting for what I wanted.

Millennial dating culture is a plethora of almost relationships because of our inability to allow our vulnerability to drive the car. I do not want to find myself in another situation like this. I let fear drive the car, instead of my heart. My challenge to myself and to you is to allow yourself to be vulnerable. We need to remember that some things are meant to be broken. Our hearts included. We would not know how to pick up the pieces and heal if they never break. They might break but the beauty is that they can be repaired. Against popular opinion, we are not indestructible. We are not invincible. We are delicate. We heal. Our healing is a live illustration of our open vulnerability. Millennials, myself included, will be the first to complain about our dating culture. As much as I hate to admit it, we have created it. We are too worried with an image, our next Instagram, and tweets to allow our real selves to shine through. We do not want to be perceived as uncool or tied down. We allow almost relationships to be our norm. The irony in this, we are the only ones that can change it. When we allow ourselves to have the relationship we want, is when we will get it.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I am in that exact situation right now.” Give yourself permission to ignite change. Have the conversation you are dreading. You deserve to have all of a person. That person deserves to have all of you. If that doesn’t seem possible it might be time to move on. Take it from me, regret is a feeling you don’t want to have. Do not regret never expressing your true feelings. Opening up that door is the scariest thing you’ll do. Yet, it shows the amount of self-respect and self-love you have by demanding what you deserve. Taylor’s lyrics tell us beginnings of relationships are delicate. In ways that makes them beautiful, but it also gives us a challenge. Challenge yourself to be vulnerable and demand the love you deserve. Grow your delicate beginning into a steady concrete middle and end.

Single All The Way: Truths About Being Single During The Holidays

Like most single girls, I become more aware of my singleness during the holidays. That is not to say there are not times I wish I had a partner (read arm candy) by my side. The holidays are filled with ugly Christmas sweaters, mistletoe, gifts, and much more. Plus, we all want to know who is on the naughty or nice list. If you’re single, you face some truths about being single during this time of year.

Here are five annoying things every single girl deals with during the holiday season:

1 – Everyone asks, “Are you dating anyone?” or “Why are you single?”

Answering these questions get very old very quickly. “Well Aunt Sally if I knew why I was single, I wouldn’t be.” I would not suggest making it into a drinking game, or you will be hammered in no time. Unless that is the goal, then drink away my friends. I have been on the receiving end of these questions more times than I can count. I understand how frustrating and annoying it can be to answer over and over, especially when the answer hasn’t changed. “No grandma I’m not dating anyone.” followed by her saying, “You’re my only grandchild without a boyfriend. It’s ok you’re young. You’ll meet someone eventually.” Of course I just love having this conversation over and over again. It sucks answering this question but the quicker you do, the quicker you can change the subject, like to how Uncle Mike spiked his eggnog a little too hard again this year.

2 – You feel suffocated by everyone’s couples posts

“Thankful for this guy” – If you use that as your Instagram caption I WILL make fun of you behind your back. Call me bitter, I don’t really care but your cutesy couple posts just annoy me. Why is there an excess amount of them during the holidays? I get it, your beau is super special and you are just so thankful for him, especially on Thanksgiving. I will most likely scroll past all of these pics. If you get a like from me, you should feel special. On top of that, I will make fun of you even more if you use “All I Want for Christmas is You” as your Instagram caption. Newsflash, you already have them. They don’t need to be on your Christmas list. Yes, I get Mariah is basically the queen of Christmas. Do I sing this song at the top of my lungs the entire month of December? Yes, I do. But, please for the love of God, come up with something original as your caption. All kidding aside, the appearance of all the happy couples on our timelines can make us feel like we are missing out. Maybe just once, we want to be that annoying person. Wow I couldn’t keep a straight face while writing that. I never want to be that annoying person.

3 – Holiday engagements are the worst

I write this just days past Thanksgiving and there have been approximately six engagements on my timeline. (There have been nine.) Ladies and gents this is just the beginning and I’m wondering if we can fast forward past Valentine’s Day. Now, not only do I have to endure your “Thankful is an understatement” posts. I now have to like your “He put a ring on it” post or I will look like a jerk. If I am being totally honest, I don’t want to see a picture of him on one knee. I want to know what size rock he bought you. Also, now that there is a royal engagement, good luck competing with that. You can’t. So don’t even try. While we are on the subject, any future boyfriends, take this as a fair warning, DO NOT propose to me during the holidays. I seriously dislike holiday engagements and I will probably say no for that reason alone. I do not want to share my engagement excitement with the holidays. I want it to have a special day all it’s own. If for some reason the engagement gets called off, I don’t want to be reminded of that every holiday season for the rest of my life. For fun, let’s add this to the drinking game too. If we take a shot for each engagement we see, we will breeze through the holidays like the inner alcoholics we all know we are.

4 – Less gifts to buy means extra money to treat yourself

Not having a beau means one less person to add to your shopping list. No need to look up Black Friday deals for their favorite beer. No need to buy them the shirt you love (he hates) from J Crew so they can be better dressed than your friends boyfriends. Take that extra cash and invest it in yourself girl. Should you buy yourself something from Tiffany’s? Absolutely. You don’t need a man to buy you what you want. But I won’t judge if you snap a pic of the little blue box to everyone purposely leaving out who bought it for you. Thankfully you also don’t have to drop hints about what gift you are dying for your boy to buy you. Then, when he undoubtedly gets you the wrong thing you don’t have to pretend to love it. Overall, you will actually get what you want this year because you will buy it for yourself.

5 – No New Years Kiss

This might take the cake for the most annoying part of being single during the holidays. The clock strikes midnight and you are chugging straight from the bottle of champagne while everyone else plays tonsil hockey. Who’s the real winner here? The bottle of champagne obviously. You don’t put your mouth on just anything. At the same time, having no NYE kiss could be the ultimate holiday challenge. You locked eyes with a hottie upon arrival to whatever NYE bash you’re attending. Probably because of the killer outfit you claim you threw on but actually took almost as much time planning as your Halloween costume. Make it your mission to lock him in by the end of the night. Maybe the champagne bottle won’t be the only thing getting lucky in 2018.    

New Year’s kiss or not, I plan on drinking my way right on through until Valentine’s Day all while enjoying the thoughtful gifts I so kindly bought myself. Being single during the holidays doesn’t have to suck. It can be quite fun if you make it. Go plan your NYE outfit and be thankful you don’t have to compete with any royal engagements.

Secret Notes and Smiles

4ACAE7E2-1DC0-4833-AEFE-66F45625021A.jpegMashed potatoes and gravy are the first things I dump onto my plate at Thanksgiving dinner. It is by far my most favorite food associated with the holidays. Well, it’s really one of my most favorite foods ever. My mom makes extra just because she knows I will eat an ungodly amount. It is safe to say I am extra thankful for this delicious starchy food. As we gather around our dinner table, someone always asks, the inevitable question, “What are you thankful for?”.

It goes without saying that I am thankful for my family and friends. The people in this world that keep me moving and grooving each and every day. The people that believe in all of me and want me to be the best version of myself. Although, what I am most thankful for this year are everyday graces. I am thankful that I can call my mom during my lunch break. I am thankful that I can make a coworker laugh. But, I am also thankful for any mistakes I make because they prove I am not perfect and always have the ability to grow. These types of things are the ingredients of our days. Overall, each day we are given to live is a blessing.

If you spend all of five minutes with me, you will quickly learn the simplest of things amuse me. I truly love the little things in life: getting to drink a cup of perfectly sweet tea, smelling the pages of a newly opened book, giving my cats a little pat on the head, when my food comes at a restaurant, the perfectly timed candid photograph, saying the same thing as someone at the same time, catching the glimpse of someone from across the room, or a new song from my favorite musician. The hustle and bustle of the 21st century placing life on the fast track disassembles our ability to appreciate these things. “What are you thankful for?” becomes a bit of a loaded question. I think we feel pressure to say what we think people want to hear. We feel the need to be thankful for the big things or what everyone else is also thankful for. This pushes the little things off to the side where they simply don’t belong. Simplicity is what makes life beautiful. Without little moments nothing would exist to make up the big moments.

A friend of mine recently started a new job. About a week into working, he arrived to work to a anonymous note left on his desk. The note was about following his dreams and to not push them back. To this day he has no idea who wrote it. All he does know is that it made his day, lifted him up, and tattooed a smile on his face. These are the things that make life special. Small gestures that immediately grant a person hope, or love, or happiness. We have in our power to perform these types of gestures at all times. There is never a wrong time to make someone smile. There won’t be a day I am not thankful for my ability to write a secret note and evoke a hidden smile. Gifting that joy to another will never go out of style.

Ultimately, this year, I am thankful for my ability to make the simplest things what become the brightest things in life. I am thankful for my ability to wish others happiness even if I’ll never be the one to give it to them. Everything is as significant as we make it. It is a choice to let all of the small tiny moments lift us up. This is a choice I will always say yes to. My love of everyday graces will never leave me.

I am not here to tell you, that you too, should be thankful for these things. I am more here to say, it brings me joy if I have ever done this for you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to make a small gesture brighten your day. However, I am not opposed to requesting you pay it forward. Write your coworker a positive note, smile at a stranger, ask the grocery store cashier “How are you?”, write ‘Thank you” on your waitress’s bill. Show people our best love is handed out a little bit at a time. Grand gestures are flashy and fun. Let’s be honest, to do that all the time would be exhausting.

As you gather around for Thanksgiving, and maybe pile mashed potatoes on your plate too, smile because our everyday graces exist. The existence of these things make us who we are. Who you are is the best thing you can be.

Happy Thanksgiving