Bottom of The First

A curve-ball from the universe thrown into my atmosphere. It broke through the infield of my heart and the outfield of my mind. I’m not sure if it will turn into a home run or a strike out. I am swinging full force searching for the outcome.

We met by chance. Or did we? I always say every person I meet walks into my life for a reason. This person, by far a positive addition. A positive one with a twist. A twist of falling. I started to fall one way, jogging around the bases hoping for that home run. Now, I feel like I was stealing bases. Stealing bases that were not mine to steal. At least not yet. You see, I want to win them fair and square. Run around those bases knowing the run at the end, the final steps over home base, are mine to keep. Once I cross that plate, I am not going back. I will not.

Here’s the thing, he is now pitching to a home plate I am not standing on. Unfortunately, a choice I had no say in. Now, I am returning home because the ball I hit soared into foul territory. My effort to run the bases revoked out of the blue. Do I swing again? Do I wait for the right pitch? You know, the pitch that ends with a grand slam. Maybe I should face the possibility of striking out. The next decision is always the hardest one to make. I don’t know if he will pitch on my field again.

Baseball games have nine innings. In our game, we are at the bottom of the first. There is a rain delay between us and the the top of the second inning. As I wait for the rain to pass, I have begun to realize they don’t make bandaids and neosporin for a breaking heart. As my heart is breaking, I hope his is healing. Currently, it’s like I am missing something. Like my hart is missing a letter. The thing is, he’s getting what he wants. I, on the other hand, am not.

I hope the rain passes. Passes sooner then later; giving me a chance to swing again. I don’t want this game to be postposed forever. It might be on hold, delayed for now. I will not let this be the end. A fair chance of playing a full nine innings is in my future. God places people in my life when they are meant to be there. He pulls them away and he brings them back with timing only he knows is right. I know I have to fight for what I want. Leave it all on the field and go for the win.

Yes, at the bottom of the first I am losing 1-0. That’s the best part, we’re only at the bottom of the first.

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