There it was the smiley face emoji, accompanied the fire emoji, and the number 6 placed by their name. Three symbols that in the world of Snapchat represent an infamous snap-streak. Consistent, constant, contact though disappearing pictures. Or as I like to call it, a glimpse into my so called “dating” life.
I have a beef with this though. Yes, I am about to pick at myself. I am sick of social media relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media. Heck, I get paid to use it. It has done me well. Even this blog is considered social media. But, there are aspects of it that I hate.
More so, I have a love hate relationship with it. I love the fact that in an instant I can be in contact with anyone I want. I hate the fact that instant contact has taken away true communication. As great the the instantness of snap chat and text messages can be, it doesn’t take much to flip the switch to what is too often called ‘desperateness.’
I want to know who decided this. Who said, “If they text you too much or send you too many snap chats, or like your pictures and posts too much, they are desperate?” Seriously, I want to know. And, why? Why is it considered desperate? What is so wrong with wanting to talk to someone? The times of phone calls, and courting, and true face to face conversation have passed. We live in this blue light, social media, screen world. The majority of our world communicates through technology. Yet, this ‘desperateness’ it so easily creates restrains people from going after what they truly want.
Social media gives us enough of a person that we are okay with not having all of them. We feel connected through Instagram pictures, Snapchat stories, and tweets. We feel included in their lives without even having to talk to them. As enjoyable as this can be, it is holding people back. It is holding me back. I started this post describing a six day streak on snap chat. The very thing I had experienced. Granted, in the world of Snapchat a six day streak is nothing for some people. For me, it wasn’t about the length, it was about whom it was with. A cute boy, a very cute boy. A boy Gabriella wishes to know better. Yet, I am stagnant in this world of social media connection. Do I like snap-chatting him? Yes, vey much so. But, a text message would be nice once in a while. A message to say, “Hey, lets hang out sometime.” A step to actually spending time with this person. This is where that societal desperateness comes into play. Societal pressure and norms has me believing that I should not push my limits.
– “This cute guy snapchats you on the regular; Now you want a text message? Oh you want to see him too. Don’t go asking for too much now.” This is the silly little conversation battle inside my head on a regular basis. –
Fear has set in. Yes, I could text him first. But, here I am thinking I don’t want to look too desperate. I have grown comfortable knowing half a person. The half portrayed to me though social media. I am afraid that if I express my want of wanting to get to know a person more, their want will not match mine. If I hold on to the half I have, it’s better then not having them at all. This is a cycle that needs to be broken. This is an internal battle on top of a social one. I understand that only I can take that step and tell a person what is on my mind. There is still something society can do. Stop telling women they are desperate for wanting more. Tell them it is okay to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the confines of social media define you.
This is so much more then wanting to connect with a guy. Obviously, that would be great. It is proving to people that showing your wants, hopes, and fears is honest, it is real, and it is right. It does not make you desperate. Maybe I am writing this to prove to myself that I believe it, to prove to myself I will conquer my fears. My hope is that I can give that to someone else as well.
Will I stop sending snap chats? Of course not. Will I send that text message? Eventually. But, I will never consider myself desperate again.