23, Single, Seeking, Not Seeking

image.jpegThe inspiration for this post came from a conversation I was having with my best friend about being boy crazy. Or, as we like to call it #BoyCrazy. Yes, the hashtag is necessary. It all started when I sent her a link to this article from TSM, 38 Excuses You Make For Being Single. TSM is one of my favorite sites. Like most of their articles, this one made for a good laugh. The accuracy pertaining to my life is a little too close for comfort. My favorite excuse from it, “My cat is my boyfriend. LOL.”  I’m a cat lover, okay.

– Please understand my great sense of sarcasm and humor as you continue to read the next  few paragraphs –

Our conversation continued. I told her every time I see a cute boy around my age I am all “Oh gimme gimme.” Hence #BoyCrazy. My boy craziness has been getting a little out of hand these days. A day in the life of your average single 23 year old girl. But, in all honestly, I only ever look from a far. You know, indulging by awkwardly staring. For example, there was a new guy at work. My age and cute. Aka my type. (Well, I’m not that desperate, but you get the point) I have no romantic interest in him. But, I told her, every time he walks into work I stand up a little straighter and hope I don’t smell like french fries. (I work at a restaurant) Just trying to keep myself in check and on my game.

Our conversation continued… I said, I must remain calm, cool, collected. Just admire from a far and gain no interest. It is like walking into an expensive store. I can look at things, but I can not touch one or take one home. A little window shopping if you must. You know, try something on, but never commit to it. Save up your money. Keep a nice little cushion in your bank account. Until, the perfect purchase comes along that you can not pass it up.

– Sarcasm and humor pushed aside, all of this was a metaphor for dating –

Let me get one this off my chest. I’ve never dated anyone No ex-boyfriends in any chapter of my book.

Let me get that straight. It is by choice. It is not to say, I haven’t or guys haven’t shown interest along the way. Think what you will. However, I have been happy this way. I am independent and I truly know who I am. I could come up with many reasons why I have never dated anyone. I choose to believe in the first 23 years of my life that dating was not part of the plan. Does it bother me? Sure, sometimes it does. Most people my age have a boyfriend or have at least dated someone.  It is hard not to think, what’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I dated anyone? Yes, I know there isn’t anything wrong with me. Yes, I know a man or a relationship doesn’t define me. But, I am also tired of hearing “You’re such a nice girl, how come you haven’t dated anyone?” or “I don’t believe you.” or “Don’t worry, your time will come. You just haven’t met the right person.” I shove these comments to the side and move forward knowing God will send my life in the direction that is meant for it.

And for now, as much as I joke about being #BoyCrazy or ‘forever alone,’ I know one day that will come to an end. People ask me all the time, “Don’t you want a boyfriend?”  Yes, I want to find my best friend to share my life with. I want someone to experience new things with. But, no, I am not in a hurry. I am not unhappy. Being independent is rare for women my age. I take pride in that. Everything happens for a reason. My time will come. My day will come. My person will come.  I will know when that is because I will feel it. I may joke around and say I am window shopping. But, that’s exactly what I am doing. Say I’m picky, or believe in my standards. Believe in finding a person who gives you the rush of life.  It’s your choice. Call me crazy, but I don’t want to settle on the dress that fits okay. I don’t want the dress that has pockets but then the zipper is broken. I want the one that fits like a glove. A person who fits into my life like no one had ever before.

Maybe I have met this person and our paths are not in sync yet. We haven’t been shopping in the same store. Or, maybe they are out in this great big world waiting for me too. Until then, I will remain #BoyCrazy. I will window shop.


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