“You’re running your own race little g, no one wins but you and you’ll always finish first” – A little bit of text message advice from an inspiring friend of mine
Right now, my life is a big open ended question? I graduated from college and I’m looking to take the next step. The only thing is, I don’t know what that next step is. This terrifies and excites me at the same time. I can’t seem to commit to a decision on where to take my life, mostly because I am scared. I don’t want to be scared, but I am. I know that’s normal though. Who isn’t scared entering the “real world” for the first time?
After graduation in May, my thoughts were going in so many different directions. It was so hard to pick a path and stick to one. After a lot of thought I decided to move back home and go back to a part time job I’ve had for four years now. I never thought this was something I would do. Anyone who knows me knows I loved this job, but I very much dislike my hometown. I shocked myself be deciding to come back to it when I finally did not have to.
As I said before, I love my job. I really do love my job. Being a waitress isn’t for everyone, but I genuinely enjoy it. However, as reality hits, I know I can’t be a waitress for the rest of my life. If that was the case, I would not have needed to go to college. I will be the first to admit that it is hard to watch my class mates and friends move on with their lives. All around me I see people my age, getting their first full time job, moving across the country, going to law school, and following their dreams. Everyday, I ask myself, why am I not doing that? Everyday I tell myself, don’t worry, it will be okay, your time will come.
It is now eight months since I graduated college. Eight months, that I’ve been living at home working part time. If there is one thing I’ve learned from this is that there are no rules to ‘adulting.’ ‘Adulting’ is not something that just comes naturally. I have come to realize that no matter how old you are, what job you have, if you are single, married, or have a family, that does not mean you are better at life. I just think the older we get, the better we are at hiding the fact that we never know what we are doing. We all just do what we want and hope it comes across as having our life together.
However, I don’t think anyone ever has their life together. That’s the thing though, that’s the beauty of life. Nothing ever goes as you plan it. Predictability is boring. Following someone else’s rules is boring. Make up your own rules. Follow those rules and lead your life the best way you see fit. Life isn’t a race against those around you. It’s a race to become the best possible version of yourself.
As I have come to realize all of the above, I have also realized that it is okay to not know what I want to do every second of every day. Sure, I might not be putting my college degree to use right now. But, I know that won’t last forever. I would much rater take my time and lead my life in a direction I see best fit, rather than jump into something I know is not right for me. I am only 22 years old.
For now, I’ll continue running my own race knowing in the end I’ll win. I’ll win, with whatever decisions I chose to make.